Tired thoughts......

So, its currently 2:44am and here I sit at my computer, tweeting, tumbling, facebooking, etc. I dont know what it is that keeps me so glued to the computer. I am tired as all hell, just getting over being sick and have to get up in the morning. Yet, I still sit here, stare at the blurring monitor and keep right on doing whatever it is that I am doing.
I am supposed to be writing a novel, by the end of Nov. I am supposed to have written 50000 words, and its now Nov. 17th andI have 20 some thousand. Goal doesnt appear to be reachable right now. I am way behind schedule and I need to put in some good time writing, but what am I doing. Typing on here, about how i should be writing! WTF?!?!?!

Makes sense right?

I sit here, day after day, knowing how badly I want to really finish this, finish something big for the real first time in my life. It would be an amazing accomplishment for me, something that would make my family (especially my mother) extremely proud. But I still am talking to you people, if theres even anyone actually reading this!

THeres another thing. This novel, tons of people want to read it, and I know they do, cause theyve asked! But I have no clue if anyone really reads this stuff, and yet here I continue!

It all seems pretty ridiculous! ANd pointless! And stupid!

I could start going to bed at a decent time, and actualy have more time in my day, cause once those kids are in bed, I am tweeting, facebooking, and tumbling. But if I was sleeping, I could be up before 10 or 11 everyday! Maybe even find a REAL job! Once htat brings in money that I seem to want so bad! I say this, already knowing that tomorrow night, when I put my kids to bed at 9, that i am going to go straight to where I am right now. I am not going to climb in bed, I am not going to go to sleep. I am going to be right back here, tweeting, facebooking, and tumbling. What a waste of time, but its my connection to the real world, a world that I so rarely see, that I need that time to do those things. It may be sad, and it may not be reality, but its what keeps me sane!

So there, I just spent the last five minutes, talking myself into tweeting, facebooking, and tumbling at night, cause its what keeps me from running away from reality!

Random bullshit

Ok, so like, do you ever just feel like nothing can possibly go your way, or like your totally under appreciated? I have got to admit that I feel like this ALL THE TIME! I am a stay at home mom, who hasnt worked for 2 years. I have spoke about getting a job, but when it comes down to it, I'm just not ready to leave my kids. Yes, the money would help, but I would much rather I raise my kids, then someone else.
My husband usually seems like hes ok with it. USUALLY. But theres always those days that are rough on him and he needs somewhere to disperse his energy at. It usually ends up being me and my not working. Yes, there are days that i dont do anything around the house, but if there is something that drastically needs to be done, I handle it! I dont leave my kids unfed, unbathed, or unattended! I am always with them. Sometimes, its nice to just forget about house work and watch a movie on the couch with them! 

My biggest pet peeve about being a housewife, is money. With him bringing in all the money, I feel like I am getting an allowance or something. And if there is something I want to do, I have to ask to do it, and for hte money to do it. If its to expensive or interferes with my being wiht the kids while hes at work, he doesnt htink I should go. Which I find to be complete bullshit! We have people out the wazoo that would be more then willing to take our kids, hell, my mother in law LIVES with us! Please, I think she can watch the kids for a few hours! Not going to kill her! 

This blog probably doesnt really make sence cause im sick and just rambling after taking my meds but god, I needed to get this off of my chest! THanks for letting me vent....=D more to come later, im sure! 

<3 LynZ

Musical Thoughts....

So, for those that know me, they know how big a part of my life that music is. Its always playing...whether it be full blast, light background music, or just something on the tv. I have to have music. I have been taking some sort of lessons since kindergarten, and my next step is to learn to play guitar, and maybe some piano.

I always have a "favorite"song. This song is something that just....sings to me. It may not have anything to do with anything in my life, but there is something about it, that I just cant explain. I have two of those songs right now.

The first, is Remembering Sunday. Its a solo song by the lead singer of All Time Low, Alex Gaskarth and the lead singer of Automatic Loveletter Juliet Simms. Its a simple song. Some guitar, some drums, but nothing to heavy until just before Juliet starts singing. She sings a short little solo, singing her heart out! She overlaps one simple version, with a more emotional version, of hte girl that had to leave. This song is simply described as a man looking for that one girl, that girl that touched him, that he loved more then anything, and he cant, shes gone. Then, they give the girl the chance to say something, and she explains why they can never be, why she had to leave, then to close, the boy gives up. Like I said, a simple song, but with a extremely deep insight.

The next song, is Paramores All I wanted. This song, simply gives me chills. Hayley Williams voice is something I could listen to for days. If I had to choose one artist/band to listen to for the rest of my life, I could instantly select Paramore and never be dissapointed. But this is one song, that when I first heard it, I knew that it was going to become a staple on my iPod. It gets played over and over, and I never tire. It once again, is a simple song. Just some guitar to begin with, and her voice. I love songs like this. It eventually adds drums, picks up the tempo, but her voice continues to haunt you. The best part, is when its just her at 2:40 All the music dies, the backtrack goes completely silent, and shes sings, "All I Wanted was You" and its just her. No piano, no guitar, no drums, no backup vocals. It is simply the best vocal work I have ever heard! Even if your not a Paramore, alternative music fan, you will appreciate this bar.

Its all something you have to hear though. I could sit here for hours and spit out why I love these two songs, these two groups. But until you hear it for yourself and actually hear what I am talking about, you will never understand!

SSOOOOO, that being said, get the songs, listen to them. Then, tell me what you think! Am I spot on, or am I full of shit?? lol...please, comment!

As always,

♥ LynZ

p.s. I have included an alternative version of Remembering Sunday, thats sort of hard to find. Its still All Time Low but instead of Juliet Simms, this time, it features Kate Voegele. Her version is a little bit smoother, but still just as beautiful. The live version, on Alex's part, is amazing. I love the rifts and note changes that he includes with this, make sure and check it out!

Update.....

So...I did this back in May, to have somewhere to just purge everything I was thinking. Then I forgot I had it! A friend of mine started one up, and it made me remember! So, I am back! I am actually going to use this though. I am going to post at least once a week, random thoughts, musical lyrics, and stuff that I have written for stories and my novel. I hope it holds your interest for a few minutes! lol....dont have much else to say, but I hope you enjoy! I know i will!! =D ♥LynZ

First Blog ever....hmm...what should I BLOG about!

So, I have never done anything like this. Not really sure what I am supposed to even talk about. I guess I should introduce myself.
I am a 24 soon to be 25 year old married mother of 2.
I have been married for 4 years, and I have been with him for six years. He is an amazing man, who I love dearly. Of course, we have our problems, what couple doesnt?
I have a 4 yr old soon to be 5 next month little girl. She is everything a 5 year and a 15 year old should be. She is defiant, bossy, bitchy, sweet, and so thoughtful! Its crazy how she can be so many different things, usually at the same time, but she does. She is a gorgeous little girl, and will definitely grow into a beautiful woman. She will have boys beating down the door, unfortunately for her father and I.
My son, my son just turned 2. It was probably one of the hardest day for me so far as a mother. This little guy, wasnt supposed to live. We were told on Valentines day of 2007 that he would most likely not making it after delivery. He did make it though, and he turned out to be perfectly healthy! The things that they thought would be a problem, were NOT a problem at all. Him celebrating his 2nd birthday, was like a huge victory for our family. This little guy, he is adventurous, strong, a fighter. He makes me laugh every day, so hard sometimes that I cry.
I am currently a stay at home mom, but I am hoping to return to work soon. Just part time, something to bring in a little extra cash to help out around home. My husband is an electrician that works the later shift! It sucks for us, but its going to be nice once I start working, cause I will be working in the earlier hours.
I dont really know what else there is to tell you. I am an aspiring writer, just doing fanfic and fictionpress stuff right now, but do hope to someday write a book. Not really sure what I want to write about, hence just writing for fun right now.
I dont really know what else to write for now. If you want to know anything, ask. Im an open book...wait open BLOG! lol....anyway! Hope you enjoyed...i dont know how often I will get to do this, but I hope its often!