But, as I was sitting here, looking at random websites, mostly looking at clothes, I realized something. I don't pick out clothes specifically to what I want, I pick them more for how others are going to look at it.
First thing you have to understand, is that I am a very big home-body. I don't go out, I don't party, I stay in. I would much rather be at home with my two kids and my hubs then out at some bar with all the single people. I really don't see the point in that scene anymore, its just not me. So, my interaction with people is things like the store, or family gatherings. I don't have a lot of "close" friends that actually live around here and see me on a daily basis. More of my close friends are people I have met on the social side of the internet. Facebook, twitter, fanfiction. I have made these great friends, and yet, I never actually see them.
But, when I go to buy a new shirt or something, I am more worried about what brand is most popular, or what style, then what is going to make me most comfortable. Like, glamour kills, or fox racing, or something along those lines. I can't even tell you if I really like those brands anymore, or if it was because someone else told me that they liked them!
I have come to realize, that in the last few years, I have lost myself, and let the real Lindsey, whoever she may be, fade into the background. I have done everything with the intention of everyone elses approval, and thats not what lifes about. Lifes about being happy and living hte way you want to!
Starting tomorrow, I am going to try and live for me, be who I want to be. I am not sure what my first steps in this will be, so if you have any advice, I would honestly love to hear it! Thank you!! =D
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